


Cigarettes

by BoxOfTrinkets



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-23
Updated: 2012-04-23
Packaged: 2013-06-04 10:43:38
Rating: M
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8053349/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2259642/BoxOfTrinkets
Summary: I'm on everything. I love Freddie Nicotine darling Sweet love





	Cigarettes

it wasn't supposed to end this way

We sat there watching each  
Other until the sun  
Came  
Up and dried our tears

And he left

*************

It started lovely  
Like the beautiful  
Taste  
Scent  
High  
Of the cigarettes seated sweetly  
In his pocket  
Just for me

We loved each other then

**********  
Carly hated cigarettes

But she  
Loved us.  
So she put up with them.  
Freddie loved her

But I loved her too  
And he loved me more

So it was fine.

**********

Weed tasted different then cigarettes.

It burned my throat  
And made me  
Cough  
Suffocate  
Die  
Live  
And I finally grinned

And he smiled at me back as  
He hit the pipe

We loved then too.

********

The first time we  
Actually for reals oh ma god no way  
Really  
Fought, I slapped him.

Hard.

And locked myself on his fire escape.  
And smoked a cigarette  
Two  
Three  
Four  
Until I could t breathe and I could  
Finally  
Cry.

I went back.  
We fucked.  
We smoked  
And we shared my last cigarette.  
And we loved.

******

Carly used to call them my vices, these  
Things.

Vices.

Vices are only  
There if you  
Need to  
Want to  
Have to  
Have them.

Freddie smiles and says their his too  
And he would  
Make a cheesy  
Joke  
Laugh  
About how we're

Fucking perfect

For each other.  
And I smiled back, and lit  
Mine  
Up. He always does the same.

************

And what hurts  
More than anything  
Is knowing what  
It's like

To love, to have  
And then lose it

It's like  
You're dying  
But no one sees.

*********

I laugh, holding  
Them  
A joint and a cigarette  
Between my fingers.

He grins and flicks  
My  
Lighter in his hand  
And I

Breathed.

And it burned and I coughed  
And died.

He said he loved me.

**************

Freddie liked to smoke after sex  
So did I

We would sit there  
Smoking cigarettes  
Until  
5  
In the morning.

Then we fucked some more  
And had another one

Sleep was for the weak.  
We had love.

*****

Freddie liked to drink  
We would drink with  
Spencer  
And  
Just  
Run

We had found love  
And life  
And  
All the glorious fucking alcohol

And we kissed and I

Vomited

And he held back my  
Long  
Hair and patted me  
So softly

He said I took it like a champ  
And that he loved me

***********  
Carly left

She said she didn't know

Us

anymore  
That we didn't need them

Cigarette  
Weed  
My medicine  
The Molly

She hated it  
So she left for school

Spencer wouldn't drink with us  
Anymore.

It had started

We fought more

And we fucked less

And I smoked more

Cigarettes

Well I'd serve you drugs

On a silver plate

If I thought it would help you

Get away

I hope that you would do this

For me

When it ended

It ended

it wasn't supposed to end this way

We sat there watching each  
Other until the sun  
Came  
Up and dried our tears

And he left

And I quit

No

I didn't

I smoked his last one

And I felt


End file.
